To my past dearest single Ms M,
Remember the lessons you learned with the courage to experience that it is better to be lonely alone, than to feel lonely while still in a relationship.
Next step, hang on for the upgrade that you get when realizing that you are never actually alone, but you still desperately miss conversations with that amazing man. Because of the perfectly placed issues limiting freedom of expression, I promise you will eventually remember that what you actually miss is the M that is awake, alive and engaged when you interact with him as he is awake, alive and engaged in return. You will remember that even without an ability to create a day to day life, isn’t the woman you share with him still the woman you are without him? What you actually miss is not him at all, but is your true self! Cut yourself some slack however. We all at times can get confused about this, falling in love with the messenger, when it is really all about the message they put on our path to help us remember!
In the next chunk of years when you are more consistently true to yourself, stay strong. Don’t settle when it is just good enough, when it is just comfortable, or when you are tired and it just finally feels safe. Don’t get too confused when he can so beautifully talk the talk, but your heart cracks a bit as it is without consistently being able to walk the walk. Then finally, don’t cave in when the shoes are so shiny and all your worldly needs would so easily be taken care of, but your spirit would end up always, all ways dining alone. Hang in there and be willing to still feast as one at your table for two as you feed your soul.
You see, with all those single years will come profound growth and wisdom from your experiences. What started as this loneliness being alone will over time transform into a resplendent solitude. You will finally find complete peace all alone being just the true you and just when you do, one dark stormy February night it will happen. That awake, alive and engaged voice that is yours, but also found as his will suddenly be heard again archived on that youtube channel. However, this time the conversation will have been preciously spoken in a state of total freedom. His life can now mix with with yours. M & N will finally meet and move on from one, to two and back to the one.
M to N to O…ooooh so good.
Love you so,
From the future Mrs. M with N 🙂