This is the outer music that is composing me today:
With the hearing of it, I feel like the very particles of hardened light that I believe make up my body, find a beginning softening to their edges. I close my eyes and listen to these external musical notes which then help bring my awareness to the place where they are actually being heard, past my ears to somewhere inside of me… somewhere wonderful and deep inside myself, inside this body. Anything then outside this inner hearing begins to soften and fade away.
With this awareness falling inward, I begin to feel the movement of my heart. There it is doing it’s thing like it always has since the moment my body made it’s official debut on this planet. In this moment of focused listening, I realize I now have access to an inner musical composition, too! This heart has a sound and a rhythm that moves with it’s own timing riding on a wave created by my breath. I speed up my breath and it gets louder and the beat speeds up. I slow down my breath and the sound softens and the beat slows down.
Then all of a sudden, as if by magic, I realized that something is dancing to this inner musical composition. Along with my heart, I begin to feel motion by a surge of circulation with each pulse… neck to wrist to ankle…neck to wrist to ankle…neck to (OH! was that a little tingle in my head?!) to wrist to ankle. Amazing.
“I” do not consciously tell this heart to remember to beat from moment to moment to create this motion around an inner dance floor that is circulating in my body. But when I pay attention to it’s beating and flowing, I experience what I can only describe as my hard working heart being filled with a deep peace and joy for being remembered and focused on. Whatever does this job, keeping it beating… keeping me alive, I think is happy to find me paying attention and remembering that it is there. It is joyful to find that I have, if only for a moment, joined the party and perpetual ball occurring right under my nose all the time.
This remembering heart beating, blood circulating task awareness job doer is always with me. I think my heart music maker and circulation dancer is happy because in those moments, it gets to remind me that I am never alone. Always and for every moment of this life that I draw breath as M, there it is with me in the background composing an inner score complete with stunning dance moves and all.
What an incredible musician and choreographer I have within me. To whatever you are, I remember you. Massive gratitude for a wonderful concert and dance today. And to you who are reading this right now, shhhh…..did you hear that?
*Picture Featured: “After The Ball” by Julius LeBlanc Stewart
Gratitude and a heart happy smile left here also to a wonderful teacher who reminded me to move inside when the opportunity presented itself today:
Love to you M!