seeingM

Because It Is Hard To Be Crazy Alone

There is an art to surrendering into allowing oneself to follow the flow of information that presents itself as truth in the experience of ones life story.  We move forward, but how often is it done without the desire to wrangle and control our trajectory? I ask a question, and when I am not too focused on where the answer needs to come from before hand, onto my path come the most unusual and unique locations of incoming vectors overflowing with inspiration.  When I allow it, I get help and guidance from the most wonderful and craziest of places.

Occasionally, to the outside observer, if one were to track my thought trajectories and where they take me, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would be experienced as being a complete and total nutter.  But I am ok with that. Really. Because ultimately, for me it is all about outcome.  In the secret quiet of my living my life as M, when no one else is looking, how do I conduct myself?  That is where the truth is.  And for me, if I have the courage to say it, to the best of my ability I live it in the moments when no one else can see what I do.  I honestly do my very best to walk my talk.

It was during my last recent Facebook presence however, that I realized I have finally walked too far away from the known shores for a few dear friends and loves in my life to feel comfortable and able to connect with and to follow me.  If those beloved individuals ever do check in here on this blog, I want them to know that I honestly do not take this personally.   Within current life experiences, I know I just have moved too far beyond current comfort zones of exploration.  With their silence and a few deleted comments in response on FB, I am so grateful to these individuals for giving me the opportunity to celebrate my past with them and then to know who to gracefully let go of attempting engaging with into the future.  I am still in my core the M they knew, but they also have helped me to really realize and know how much I’ve grown past her as well!  Profound gratitude to them for that.

As I move forward in my life, those people that make the effort to keep track of me and those new souls who have come on to my path as I have allowed myself to dance further out to the fringes, you are some of the most magic and excellent, authentic human beings I have ever had the pleasure to make acquaintance of.  Your ability to be present, honest and in tune, all while still allowing access to evolving inspiration, has humbled me to the core of my being.  Deep bow to the courage and wisdom you have as you live and share your lives.

And for those who communicated volumes with their silence, with transparency in public places like this blog, if you ever want to engage in the future, you know where to find me.  You know what part of the floor we are tangoing on here at seeingM.  You are always loved by me and there is a standing invitation to the party.  Because at the end of the day, it is hard, if not impossible, to ever be completely crazy alone :).

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This entry was published on May 4, 2013 at 12:58 am and is filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

2 thoughts on “Because It Is Hard To Be Crazy Alone

  1. ha,ha. DELIGHTFUL. Well you’re my favorite nutter my friend and do please carry on the torch you do it so well. And yes when one travels the wind many will find it difficult to follow.

  2. THIS IS THE HONEST TRUTH:

    As I was sitting and contemplating how I would like to respond to your lovely share, I was looking out the window and watching the light catch on a white plastic bag that has been caught in the branches of a HUGE cedar tree as it moved in the breeze. I first really noticed this bag yesterday, but I think it had been there for a few days.

    JUST as I was thinking about the wind and the beauty of this glittering “trash” turned visual treasure, all of a sudden it moved down a branch… then in the next moment it was broken totally free and was carried off on the breeze!

    Was that you on the wind Caimbeul, helping my heart feel just that bit more beautiful and setting myself just that bit freer?! Yes, I definitely think so. x.M

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