I Just Can’t Be Bothered

I gave myself a month.

I rolled the creative juju dice and found that I can’t be bothered to do the foundational work needed to change the current format of my expressions shared here on seeingM at this time.

It is a funny thing when ones inspirations do not align with time actually spent living in the reality of day to day life flow.  However, the would-a  could-a  should-a’s  left the land of my living my life a long time ago.  I don’t beat myself up anymore for the doing of not doing (and I have now also found the “pressure” of making public proclamations has ceased to serve as an external motivation source to inspire the action of doing anymore as well 🙂 ).

It is the end of the month and I find I still sit with several beautiful, unedited video clips that have yet to be made into the little movie I can see so clearly already created by me in my minds eye.  Can you see things like that in your own life that you can’t quite find the motivation to actually do?!?  Maybe one day…

~ X lol X ~

( XX marks the spot of the loving laugh over the procrastination I have within myself and the acknowledgement of the fact that there is very little that really actually HAS TO be done in the experience of the living of the human life).

I did however find that without a focus on sharing with so many words here on seeingM in this month of July, I did enjoy more moments of time carved into the shape of nothingness.

One outcome of this was that when I made the annual trek up the Columbia Gorge here in Oregon to harvest lavender and to pet the neighborhood alpacas, this time I had created a space which meant I returned home with scanes of wool which now (thanks to tutorials watched, rewatched and paused and rewatched again and again on youtube teaching myself how to crochet!) are turning into granny squares which will be made into a winter lap blanket.

Soft soft soft.  Warm warm warm.


(Beauty of the share from last year’s trip can be found in a link here:  )

I have discovered when human hands are physically busy in the meditative motion of knotting, the mind is then freed to unravel.  I am happy to report that sitting in silence with the body occupied in rhythmic motion crocheting on autopilot (needed about 20 squares practice to get good enough not to have to think about what I was doing) produces a wonderful trance like space.

Now moving forward as the next month is dawning, along with continuing to create the rest of the 200 squares needed to complete the crochet project, I am making preparations for a footloose and fancy free August (wished for us all!) along with plans for a few more words shared here, too.  This done all while still holding the quieter space and helping set the foundation for some other new projects my husband has brewing, as well.

I don’t know about you, it is still July, but I am already feeling fall here.  Blink and I know it will be October tomorrow.


This entry was published on July 29, 2013 at 11:44 am and is filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

4 thoughts on “I Just Can’t Be Bothered

  1. I am mesmerized – something ancient and familiar about the movement of the hook through the circles and pulling. as I am commenting here a bubble just appeared of you commenting over there. beautiful sync. 🙂 sync sister!

  2. When it is time to write more or change the current format there will be little you can do to stop it from happening. Until then, your Presence is sufficient.

    • Oh the beautiful reminding wisdom offered in a deeper dive by a beautiful man whose eye is focused on seeing truth 🙂 by being that truth! Thank you for sharing another layer leading into remembering the larger space in the garden that is all a part of the big(ger) view.

      When outcomes of focus become THE focus, one can tend to forget how important is the process of how one does, not just what is or is not done. We feel the pull to do, and if it is felt with Presence consciously present yes yes yes! – that is all the outcome that is ever needed at all… and all our wild horses stop nothing when flowing direct from the flow.

      Kudos in gratitude to you graceful, grace filled big mind dancer, you! -xo.M

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