I had a very special brother with whom I had the pleasure of sharing space in NYC when I first started working at JFK as a flight attendant. This is a brother who I adored, and in our family we have never been shy about showing our affection for each other when we are all out and about moving around in the world together. When I had time between working trips, I was able to come and go from his apartment just south of Central Park in Manhattan. So it is that during the first year I was working based from New York, he and I staged many adventures in the city using his apartment as home base.
During this time I got to be known by the Super for the building that my brother lived in as well. One day, after several months of my coming and going, this man pulled my brother aside and asked him (in a kind, but curious way) who on earth this woman was that was coming and going at all hours from his apartment???
You see, we forgot that the faces that we externally presented to the world could not tell the true tale of what was going on between us. This is because what my brother appeared to be to the world on the surface at that time was a petite, “gay” man of Korean descent. So it was natural that the Super of his building would question what a tall, “straight” woman of Scandinavian looking origins would be doing openly loving* on him as she came and went from his apartment! – lol –
*(as older siblings #1 and #3 of 10, growing up in a challenging home, we gave each other lots of hugs of support as often as we could)
(Hey my precious C-clan members: I know I did not ask permission from all to publicly post this. So for any of you who actually read what I write here, if you want me to remove it, just let me know 🙂 . Just trying to share the love, sharing the deeper dive with bits of truth revealed by the story, one picture at a time.)
This was a wonderful lesson at the time for me on remembering the power of attempting to make assumptions based just on face value. To me, this was just my brother and I loved him, and I forgot that not everyone else could automatically see this. When seen hanging out together, we unwittingly created a puzzle that was a challenge to piece together using eyes that were looking at the surface layers we each presented in the world, rather than the deeper story told by focusing on seeing true love.
This same precious brother was also the person in my family who first had the courage to fearlessly launch himself out into the larger world, making the initial steps learning to know and live from a deeper yearning to understand and be his authentic self. It was behind his trailblazing and with his support that I was able to make my first baby steps into my own experiencing in areas of the unknown that I had so feared. He was a wonderful wave breaker and wake maker that made my first steps on my own after my divorce easier to take. I am eternally grateful to him for this.
Looking back on that time in my life in my early thirties, I have so many fun memories, but one that comes in today still with great clarity is a night spent dancing at Webster Hall in NYC. It was a magic night when he literally cleared the dance floor.
My brother was an extraordinary dancer… most people are who are focused on learning to be comfortable living and moving from within their own skin. On the dance floor he and I would start in our minds eye with a little ball of energy (chi) that we would then envision and dance with around our bodies and with each other. He would then take that ball and start rotating and moving with it dancing while I would send it out on the dance floor by thought on cool, pale pink imaginary ribbons streaming from the tips of my fingers. This was done with the intent of weaving and entwining it with those dancing around us.
It was magic. You could feel the energy pulsing with the motion and the music and it literally cleared the dance floor around us for a time until the people surrounding could tune in and pick up on the field resonance. Doing so, they then could join back in dancing on the shared ride.
For those of you who are not big dancers, this is not quite what it looked like, but is similar in principle:
And to give a bit more understanding about “chi”:
This is dancing as it is done moving with the fullness of energy that is actually found in the seemingly empty space around the human body. Dancing with this intent, the space around the body begins to feel thick and enveloping, almost as if one is moving through warm honey instead of thin air. NO ADDITIVES ARE EVER NEEDED to find this spot on the dance floor. 🙂 It is just dancing while dropping the illusion of separation from the space and all that is found in it around you.
For you who are reading this post right now in the quiet and private space you inhabit, might I offer the encouragement to give this a try. Put on a tune that inspires your feet to move on the dance floor you create. Set the intent to dance with and within the energy in and around you… the energy that IS you.
No one is looking and no one will know about this crazy moment of yours that you can choose to gift yourself except me here on seeingM and I see you as super fly already anyway. 🙂 Try throwing some of your very own unique moves. I promise, you will find an amazing partner within yourself and by doing so, the floor you stand on, the floor that you also are, can begin to dance you all the way home.
–And to the one that is now known out in the external world as my sister BPC:
Thank you so much for your courage, patience, support and natural flow helping guide me into the unknown and to the deeper truths of inner connection back in the day. My heart is happy at the memories and my feet are going to be moving momentarily with the residual resonance as I get up and do my own dance today when I am done writing here. I leave in this post (and also send on the breeze) a big ball of yum, wrapped in ribbons flowing into the world you are currently making around you. I dance with joy sent to you in celebration of the beautiful family you are creating wherever you are now.
Much love from your big sister,