For quite awhile now I have been allowing some unsettlement found in my inner world to spill out into unsettlement symbolized in a corner of my outer living environment. This is an interesting phenomenon. My sister Kat. has a corner like this in her physical home as well which she lovingly refers to as her “pile of shame”. It is a large basket tucked in the corner of her office. It is placed there to contain things which she finds often leading to being full to overflowing with spillage onto the surrounding area and floor… it is a physical manifestation of all the things she does not want to yet deal with (papers to be filed, things to mend, the “stuff” of life “needing” to be dealt with).
So, in my little corner of the world, with all this “stuff” on my mind (and then it physically landing in my pile), what does it actually do to me when day after day I awake from sleep and the first scene that is seen from my bed when there is an opening of my eyes is this:
It is my own equivalent of a pile of shame… stuff I don’t want to deal with yet and for whatever reason at the moment I placed it there, I can’t yet face putting away. N has referred to this area of our bedroom lovingly as M’s “floordrobe“.
What is really going on here though? It takes energy to have possessions… to acquire them, maintain them and to interact and deal with them. But what does our stuff really represent? To me, it is the outside manifestation of inner imagination… it is our thought made real in our environments AND I think the places we inhabit and the way we inhabit them can tell us a lot about how we think and feel about ourselves.
So yesterday, after wanting to be better supporting my experience of awakening within the creation of a zip a dee doo dah day… awakening to each new day without needing an “ugly” reminder of my still to do’s, there has just occurred an inspired transformation in my floordrobe corner:
When I open my eyes, they are now greeted by what to me is an external manifestation of my great beauty. It is functional storage as an alter in a sacred space. I open my eyes and return to being “here” seeing the truth of the life that I create as M. I can now get out of bed and immediately bow to the divinity that I am, looking deeply into the eyes of the woman reflected in that mirror… loving what I see and creating a magic moment at the beginning to a new day full of unfolding adventures. I am choosing to be the beauty and organization that truly I am. Outside is more and more matching up with the inner truth. I am transforming.
Much better than waking up to a pile of shame, don’t you think?
This is the radio roulette song that just came on the all classical PDX station as the background accompaniment as I was doing this:
Wonderful little soundtrack addition to enjoy transforming to! If you find you have a little pile in the world you create, press play and enjoy seeing what magic transformations you can make real, too. -x.M