Toupees as Teachers

Today out on a walking tour while running errands in the city I was confronted by the most amazing comb over / toupee that I have ever seen.  It was epic.  So epic was this head, that I wanted to run up to this man right there on the sidewalk and to give him a huge hug for making me smile a smile that alleviated some of the angst I was carrying at that moment.  I then wanted to compassionately confront this man and communicate to him just how OK he actually naturally was, just as he was.  I wanted to let him know that in his efforts to disguise the current state of God given affairs on his head, he was fooling absolutely no one.


I wanted so badly to let this man know that what he currently was doing to his head was actually drawing an incredible amount of attention specifically to the area he seemingly most was wanting to hide.  I wanted to tell him he was walking around with the equivalent of a flashing neon sign with a big arrow floating over his head broadcasting to the world the fact that he was bald and not yet comfortable with his body in this arrangement.

Heaven help the men on this planet who feel better and more confident about themselves while walking around in the world with what looks like the equivalent of a small, furry marsupial curled up dead on top of their heads.

neon arrowhumans do the strangest things

However, past a little chuckle, the real reason for the share from this little experience is the fact that seeing this man started me thinking about the deeper things we try to hide about ourselves and from ourselves and why it is we feel so compelled to do this.  Why it is that we at times allow ourselves to get so off track from what is the natural and normal state of affairs, and in doing so, make ourselves so ridiculous?

How many times have you told yourself you shouldn’t think-say-do-feel X thereby leading you to cover up that which is actually what you are currently think-say-do and feeling?!

As much as I want to think that I do not have my own versions of the wearing of an emotional toupee, this would not be true.  I do.  Mine have just moved to the level of being located inside in the realm of the subtle where it is harder to see all I am attempting to cover up.  My figurative toupees are at the level that can be so whisper thin in untruth, that even to myself at times, I do not fully know what it is I am trying so hard to trick myself into covering over.  For me, this is when it becomes so incredibly important to follow the bread crumb trails left by allowing the actual feeling of the authentically arising emotions that are honestly present.  This is the first step to help lead me past the facades and on to accessing the naked truth.

We do what we do to feel OK until we are OK enough that we finally do not need to do anything anymore and can actually just let ourselves feel what we feel and we know we are OK no matter what. We try not to know what we know until we begin to know it enough that we can no longer pretend to find peace within our ignorance.  Oh the joy of feeling the fresh air touching the skin directly as it marks one of those first steps to setting ourselves free!

I am Maren and I am not my hair.  I am Maren and I feel what I feel so I can let it lead me to the root reasons for why I feel whatever it is that is being felt in the first place.  Then and only then, am I truly free to be in real peace.


How long will you keep pounding on an open door
Begging for someone to unlock it?
-Farid al-Din Attar


This entry was published on October 8, 2013 at 11:28 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

16 thoughts on “Toupees as Teachers

  1. Anonymous on said:

    That top photo looks like a very young Donald Trump. Here’s a UK advert from yester-year about that special time in a man’s life when it’s all going a bit wrong….

  2. Ok. This post is hilarious, and a huge treat for me in the silence of the morning, enjoying my coffee during those last few sacred minutes while the kiddos still slumber. Lessons through laughter, shares of real experience. M is for Maren, M is for medicine. You are soothing ointment for the soul, delightful chuckles for my belly, and uplifting attitude shifts for my mind. For today, I will try to at least try to see my dead marcupials, and give them a proper burial. 🙂

    • Oh yes, the joys of words reminding that we contain within us the Balm of Gilead… often in real life smelling faintly of Olbas Oil in my home :). Sweet smelling herbs on the funeral pyer.

      Thanks A. So glad you enjoyed. -x.M

  3. I loved this post. it made me smile. I only learned about hair paint this past year- The things they come up with! Balding and greying is becoming on a man if he wears it with confidence.

    • Could not be a better thing than knowing a smile is passed on into the flow of someone else. Earth is such a challenge already (pattern baldness for some included 🙂 ) that it is nice when we can lift each other into a little laugh. I hope all in the world of Larry is well.

      Disco on my Bro., dancing with the joys of comb overs on. -x.M

  4. Yes, love this too. It’s sort of a sideways analogy to an Oedipus complex. I will say from my own therapy dance years ago, that things seem to cease their hiding just at the time you’re ready to deal with them. ..and then it’s like you say:
    “My figurative toupees are at the level that can be so whisper thin in untruth, that even to myself at times, I do not fully know what it is I am trying so hard to trick myself into covering over. ”
    But, how many things do I not know? I dunno 🙂
    Hugs M.

    • When I can get still, I mean REALLY still, it is funny the layers that can still bubble up in the stillness. Recently there has been some action related to potentials for moving house and the meaning of home. It has uncovered some deeeeeeeppppppp feelings related to place and my roll in it as I learn to dive even deeper into stillness while in motion. So, yes you are so right that there are many things I do not know I know until I get a peek at knowing :)!!! One must take a real attempt of feeling into the depth of the nuances to sometimes reveal the whys linked to those subtle of emotional states. Dancing with angst shares I am sure are ahead once what is seen is clear enough to share. In the meantime, HUGS APPRECIATED. -x.M

      • Oh dear, sounds tumultuous! Well, any thought of moving would be for me!
        I do wish you well as you sort and regroup M.
        Big hugs, absolutely!

  5. learning to trust the love that sends the Ease in angst so magically by placing upon our paths the metaphors for laughs and lessons – toupees, milk mustaches, and petite girls in 5 inch heels 🙂

    • Just when things seem to be a bit too much slanted in polarity to shadow, into the flow will pop the most over the top boxes of love and light to provide balance and joy and tangible expressions of our gratitude and appreciation for help and witness along the way. One such place is the in box here, another is found in the heart of my home. You so gracefully visit each and leave joy in your wake. Angstiness into joy is such a beautiful thing…turning the experience of angst into a joy to feel itself. Sigh. Heart happy -x.M

  6. Another great story! Thanks Maren! P x

  7. M also stands for Magician! For always finding the right video with her stories!

  8. Lovely post thank you M… It makes me think of my grey hair that I have been covering up for years… but now my hair is changing texture, a little drier it could be time to allow my own natural beauty shine through even more… but maybe for a time just a little less colour… a few hints of beautiful colour… Oh yes indeed the things we do… Cheers Barbara

    • It is so interesting how we can so completely become our body that we forget that we are not our bodies :). I just so deeply feel for those who are so lost that they will physically cut into and add artificial, toxic things to feel ok. Jessica Tandy is one of my heros in this. Beauty beauty beauty head to toe, putting it out there just as the rental car was until the very last breath. Great example of growing older with such grace.


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