I am finding in my life more and more a thinning of my patience for anything that asks to waste my time…anything/anyone that is REGULARLY taking more light-love-energy than it/they are giving back into the world.
Currently I am in a place of really looking at the importance of practicing what I have always referred to as love from a distance. This is loving people and wishing them well, but not engaging with them in our ignorance.
I have always done this before by intuition. I have always known that in true love and compassion for self and others, one does not allow themselves to become a doormat or an enabler. I have practiced enough tough love and distanced myself from the drama created in the world and in lives by repeatedly making unbalanced choices to know the importance of doing this. But recently this knowingness has hit a hard wall. Recently my desire to not budge on entangling my time, talents and energy with those situations and people who are not actively seeking to grow has become unmovable.
It is ok to not want to use ones time talents and energy to focus on growth. It is ok to focus on who is winning what celebrity dance off or who is ahead on a singing popularity contest, or who is playing who at what ranking with endless hours focused on TV with a beer on a Saturday night. These are not “bad” things. However, on Sunday morning where does having these things as a focus leave one within their own energy configuration…with their own bandwidth available to focus on a greater wholeness on this planet? That is my focus and those who are not choosing the same are NOT less, but they can move along. I will not be joining you to watch TV anytime soon. Our time is so precious and we should not waste a moment of it with each other out of the illusion of some polite, mandated social construct.
I think that recently I have hit this wall because for the first time in my life in a real, palpable way, I have rreeaallyy felt the ticking of the clock related to the finite time I have available in my mortality living a life designated as M. I have started to feel my age and how quickly the past 40+ years have gone.
The first time I noticed a real deep shift in my awareness was when I was sick this past summer and watched the BBC series on the historic gardens of Italy with Monty Don. These gardens were planned and designed and enjoyed for only a few years by their creators and here it is hundreds of years later and the garden is still there, but the original gardeners???
Then just last month I stumbled upon this video about a woman they are calling the “Diva Mummy”. It is a woman in China who is the most perfectly preserved human body ever found. 2000 year old melon seeds found undigested in the stomach that remain plant-able! We know of a meal almost 2000 years ago for a woman who was living her life just like I am now. But, in the intervening centuries what has changed upon this planet?
Already there have been so many people that have fallen away from the flow of my life. I have realized that my standard for engaging is set at a place so radically different than the mainstream that to be my friend now takes work! This is not work related to interacting with me (hopefully my friends would say this is the case and that they enjoy engaging with me! lol), but the work I refer to is with the dedication of huge chunks of their time focused with a desire and willingness to be working on themselves.
If you are not in motion in your life,
growing and working to share what you find,
I do still love you loads, but our priorities are different for the living of our lives and I will no longer waste** any of OUR precious time pretending to care about pursuits that are keeping our planet and the people on it trapped.
Anyone else out there having a similar experience or do you have any additional thoughts about this? A bit radical to say, but I am over it today. (Might also be that I am just finally coming this week to the end of a big chunk of work and I am tired. Patience and tired are still a challenging cocktail for me to mix!)
**Ultimately I know nothing is ever a “waste” of time and if someone or something is found upon our life flow path (and our focus and intention set for life is growth), it will be there for our good. However, if there is a choice involved for engaging or not, more and more I am choosing not. If there is a lesson to learn, it will not be missed because something or someone similar will find my life flow again. A pattern will show up. When it does, then I know it is for me. Until then, I am feeling the tests of distraction and I am less and less interested in turning my head for people and things that are dying on the vine.