Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
“Pooh?” He whispered. ” Yes, Piglet?” ” Nothing”, said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”
“Thank You, Piglet.”
“What for, Pooh?”.
“Just for being Piglet. Nobody else is, you know.”
( ❤ to Pina for that reminding post on your old blog which has stayed close to my heart)
I have experienced aspects of what could be considered the illusion of separation which gives rise to solid form. I have seen with my own eyes seemingly solid things shift and shimmy, and once (just in my peripheral vision) even appear and disappear.
However, as I sit and type this, I do so while having the focus of my primary perception of awareness oriented in time and space in the seemingly separate physical form of a human body. It is a human body I feel quite attached to at the moment, one that holds great sentimental value for me. However, at the end of the day I know it is not “me” or “mine” or even the same form from one moment to the next as cells die and arise outside my conscious awareness.
Today in this particular human body however, it feels as if a huge chunk of my heart is not here with me. There is a special silence in the house accompanying this feeling. The continual snootling breathing sounds of a little smushed nose cat are missing in my home. After two nights of sleeping next to him on the kitchen floor, we went to the emergency veterinary office in Portland last night where our Luke remains for IV fluids and observation (in the North of England, you always say “OUR” before the name of a beloved family member). If it is anywhere on this planet at this moment, this is where my heart is located.
When the fur is no longer there and the house remains permanently silent to the little sounds made by cat living, where will my heart feel to be located then? It is in a process of being made bare. This gives a raw quality to time and it tastes salty.
We still eat the hearts of some beings on this planet and call it offal…or is that awful or should it be awe-ful when the heart is symbolically eaten away from the body at the thought of the permanent separation from fur form?
The fridge also stopped working the other day. It was deeply silent in the kitchen in a weird way. But this meant in this silence from sitting over on the couch on the other side of the room I could hear strange rustlings in the back garden that normally would have been missed. I got up to investigate the new noise in the silence and was gifted this:
Luke is a tangible piece of my heart made manifest in the form of a little fur entity who may be making ready for his final exit from form. If it is absolutely necessary at this time, may it be a peaceful one and may this humans tears turn the sauce of silence in the house savory, not bitter.
I am anticipating the idea of silence and am looking forward to finding what new noises Luke’s silence brings home to my heart.
– – – – – –
Calling me in this fate
Between the unknown and the nay
LIGHT SHADOWS dancing through my veins
When all is gone and stays the same
WHITE SHADOWS glisten in the dark
Between emotion and response
Between the uncharged and the spark
And in the arms that move apart